Rethinking 2020 🍀

– rethinking is good –
Of course, making a list of goals at the beginning of the year is good, but in my ever-changing reality reconsidering them sometimes is even better. Even if that means heartlessly ripping out a page of my journal and redoing it. And that’s exactly what I’m doing here: rethinking 2020 and the goals I have for the first year of this new decade.

My life is split up into three categories, if it’s even possible to split up a life in three categories.

    • There’s work, the place where I spend four days a week.
    • There’s free time, consisting of the other three days in the week and my evenings.
    • And there’s the people that are in my life, throughout all the seven days.

The work should be fulfilling, the free time should be spend wisely and the people should add something positive to my life.

Besides three categories, there are also three themes that are important for me, especially this year.

    • Kindness. I want to be kind to people, especially the ones I love the most, but also generally speaking to people and the world around me. And I want to be kind to myself, making sure that I am feeling fine and spending my time in a way that makes me feel good.
    • Creativity. I want to be able to be creative, both in my free time and and in my work, because I love to create things where after a time of working you can actually see the result of that work.
    • Inspiration. Of course I would love to inspire others, but I also want to be inspired, do things that make me feel inspired. This is closely connected to the previous two points, because I believe that feeling inspired by new places and experiences will simultaneously boost my creativity and contribute to being kind to myself.

Then I took my journal. I ripped out the page that I had in there, called ‘goals’, clearly stating some things that should happen in 2020. It wasn’t working, because there were too many things that were too defined and they didn’t seem to fit into my days, which unfortunately only have 24 hours, of which I also want to spend some sleeping and being a couch potato. 

– the goals – 
For now, as you saw on the photo, I created a map that has all the things that come to my mind, relating with the categories in my life and important themes, without any structure or priorities. I will take the next two weeks to get this more clear and bring more structure into this. Here’s some thoughts for now.

    • The most important one is to be in a place where we, my boyfriend and I, feel fine and can do something that we enjoy professionally. Basically, to both be fine together. Figuring out the where, what and how of this and get there.
    • As for creativity, I need to prioritise what I want to do, because there are simply too many things I enjoy. The blog is important for me right now, because I enjoy working on it a lot and it’s connected to other creative things, like taking photos and writing. Also, I want to journal, because it makes me feel calm and I love to be able to read back what happened.
    • I want to be a Europeer, to share my volunteering experience with others and to be able to inspire others to do something similar. I want to be part of this community of young like-minded people and I want to make use of the opportunities it offers me to learn. 
    • I started doing artistic gymnastics again and I enjoy going there a lot. It’s much easier for me to go to a gymnastics class than going to the gym or doing exercises at home. I want to keep doing this, because it gives me energy and it’s good for my body.
    • Then there are some other thoughts: making more time for the people I love, buying my clothes second hand and/or making clothes by myself again, travelling to new places and going on little adventures more often, read more books, spend less time watching Netflix, be more active and outdoors, learn new useful skills and keep practicing Spanish, do yoga, draw or paint more.

The last point is exactly the problem right now: I want so many things that it is impossible to do all of them and this makes me feel bad. I try to do everything a little bit, but I don’t do anything properly and this gives me the feeling of failing or not doing things well enough for myself, even if I realise that I simply can’t do all these things. And that leads to me not feeling motivated to do any of these things and that’s exactly the opposite of what I want.

For now, I’m toying with the idea of focusing on the most important ones throughout the year, where my attention automatically to and making the other ones into little projects. Maybe every month I can do a little project and then the next month start a new one. 

This is it for part one of Rethinking 2020, in the second part I’ll hopefully elaborate on this, on how to set goals that are motivating me instead of putting too much pressure.

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